And The Chicken Taste Like Wood (Brooklyn)

brooklyn

“Soul Food” or “Sold Food”? The question for the Shakespearean appetite. Many of you may or may not know, depending on how well you know me of course, that “the wife” (as I so fondly call her) and I are notorious for routinely dining out. It doesn’t matter if it’s a “hole in the wall” eatery or a “restaurant of sophistication” (garçon check please), you can find us traveling for food at a location nearest you. This brings me to the borough of Brooklyn. Yes Brooklyn, home of 2.5 million people, home to many iconic hip hop legends, home of the NY Nets, as well as, home to some of the worse dining/soul food experiences I’ve had to date. This is in no way an indictment of the entire borough of Brooklyn. I don’t want Jay-Z putting out a record dissing Genius Scribble Ink (all though I can hold my own on the mic, but right now I don’t have money for studio time…I digress), so I will just list the ones that I had the unfortunate privilege of giving my money to and their shortcomings: Five Spot Soul Food Restaurant (Myrtle Ave)-flavorless collard greens (like licking a leaf from an oak tree), fried chicken was over battered with zero seasoning, fish and shrimp were dusted in O-Bay seasoning, but was nothing to write home about and the service lacked professionalism until it was tip time; Brooklyn Bowl (Wythe Ave)- they were featured on Food Networks “Best Thing I Ever Ate” for its fried chicken, however, they should have borrowed at least 3 of “The Colonels” 11 herbs and spices because it was tasteless and bland. I had an overpriced cucumber/onion salad that was saturated in vinegar. Service was excellent, can’t say the same about the food; SOCO (Myrtle Ave)-hip place (not for grown folks), music was a good distraction from the food. I had the Jambalaya as an appetizer and the broth tasted like Poland Spring Water. It lacked flavor, substance and was a complete misrepresentation of creole food. As an entree “the wife” had Lobster/Shrimp grits and I had a fish platter. The fish was grossly over fried and my wife is still looking for the shrimp and the lobster that they “claimed” was swimming in her pool of grits. Their Mac n Cheese was the only thing palatable. Our last and final stop on our Tour de Brooklyn is Mobay (Dekalb Ave). I wish this was a last but not least place, however, it’s last because it is my first bad Brooklyn experience. The dining area was the size of small bedroom, as I could literally taste the neighboring tables appetizer, while listening to the intimate details of their plans for the evening. Our waiter managed to mess up our entire order. The kitchen was out of seemingly everything and they had just opened up their doors. We got dessert to go, drove all the way back (Brooklyn to Quogue) with watery mouths of anticipation only to find out that we never got what we ordered. So what have we learned? One, don’t eat on Myrtle Avenue in Brooklyn; two, soul food comes from the heart and not from a kitchen trying to sell a diluted version of it; three, customer service is just as vital as the food and four; never go to Brooklyn hungry, it might make you start blogging all over the place. #no sleep till Brooklyn

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2 Responses to “And The Chicken Taste Like Wood (Brooklyn)”

  1. thanks for the heads up. What places have you absolutely loved and would recommend? My wife and I are foodies too. We are heading to the Bronx to Arthur Ave.

    • Rob, thanks for the the love. We are generally everywhere regarding food. Depending on your cuisine of choice; I would suggest Dallas BBQ near Fordam Road off of 9A. Great drinks, good sticky wings. Just prepare for a tight waist, everything is go big or go home lol. Let me know how that works out for you.

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